NFL Week 5 Predix

 By Jacob Sanders

Hey all. No real intro blurb this week. Chose to focus on taking time off with Fall Break (I’m a teacher for those who didn’t know) and in doing so, also didn’t prep for these predictions as much as I normally would. I still watched some film, but not enough for me to create narratives like I normally do. This week’s predictions will be based off what I saw in live games and highlights. So. The predix might be bad this week. Anyway…..

Sanders went 11-4 last week putting him to 45-17-1 on the season. He also had the Bucs winning TNF and thus is 0-1 starting Week 5.

LA Rams vs WAS

On a personal level, Washington naming Kyle Allen their starting quarterback tells me they have given up on the season already. Sure, Rivera might be saying he made a QB switch because he believes they can win the division. I refuse to believe he’s that delusional in deciding Kyle Allen gives them a better chance to win than Alex Smith. On the other side of this week’s matchup, the Rams are coming off a tough win against the Giants. In a game that felt like they should have pummelled the Giants, it took a deep connection with Cooper Kupp to seal the deal. Honestly, that same type of game could happen here, and the Rams come away 4-1 still.

Rams 23  Washington 14

PHE Eagles vs PIT Steelers

This is just rough. A banged up Eagles team managed to limp away with a win against another banged up squad in the 49ers. Carson Wentz also didn’t look too shabby either. But now they have to play the Steelers in PIT who are fresh off a bye week. Not necessarily the break you are looking for after a win. Here’s the narrative for this game: Carson Wentz has no line. Wentz runs for his life from TJ Watt. TJ Watt racks up (I’m guessing) 2-3 sacks. This makes Wentz erratic and the Steelers pull off an easy win because they matchup so well against the Eagles. That’s the storyboard. Did I do it right?

Eagles 17 Steelers 28

AZ Cardinals vs NY Jets

Well. The Cardinals got a wake up call. They need Budda Baker in the secondary and need depth help. They added Prince Amukamara which should help them rotationally. As for the Jets, they just need help. A lot of help. They’re injured from top to bottom and their coach is still Adam Gase (how does he still have a job?). Despite the fact that Joe Flacco is starting and could take advantage of a poor secondary with his deep passing style, there simply just isn’t enough weaponry for the Jets to be competitive with even the worst or most injury-riddled teams. Did y’all watch that Broncos-Jets game? Oof.

Cardinals 27 Jets 20

LV Raiders vs KC Chiefs

I’m going to say this. I truly believe the Patriots win on MNF with Cam Newton. This isn’t some mainstream media take. It’s not some wild-take. It’s just fact that I can’t buy new England only having 3 points in the first half with Newton. I imagine they game would have been 16-6 at that point. Anyway, my point being that these Chiefs can be vulnerable at times. We saw that against the Chargers as well. However, against a Raiders team who has crash landed to earth since starting 2-0, I don’t see them faltering. I really do like this Raiders team. And they could easily upset the Chiefs. However, this game is in Arrowhead with fans. I don’t think the Raiders will have it easy this time around in this divisional matchup. Maybe next time?

Raiders 24 Chiefs 31

JAX Jaguars vs HOU Texans

This one is quite the coin-flip to pick. With B.O.B. seemingly run out of town by his own roster, it’s time for the players to prove they were correct in running him out of town. Why? If you lose to this 1-3 Jaguars team who is starting to show that they are just as bad as advertised, and you start 0-5? Ha! There’s no taking you seriously then. Neither of these teams seem to be in the running for the playoffs. But there’s a lot of pride on the line in this game. So how does the matchup go? Well, you see. Both these teams are bad. And frankly, both teams have no real strengths to point out. Thus, I’m just picking the team with the better QB. Lazy analysis, isn’t it?

Jags 24 Texans 27

CIN Bengals vs BAL Ravens

Either this, or the Steelers matchup is going to be the “Welcome to division rivalry games” for Joe Burrow. Yes, I understand he played Cleveland already, but Cleveland didn’t necessarily make his life hard in that game. I anticipate both PIT and BAL to make Joe Burrow life absolute hell for 3 hours and it starts with BAL this week. Historically, the Ravens have been one of the best teams ever against rookie QBs. That could change with Burrow looking as good as he has been. However, considering the huge talent gap between the two teams, I can’t see a scenario where Burrow has a good day. Maybe statistically he will, but it results in a loss either way.

Bengals 17 Ravens 26

CAR Panthers vs ATL Falcons

Are the Falcons doomed to not win a game this season? I couldn’t tell you but what I can say is that the Panthers have looked nice in the last two weeks. It appears that Matt Rhule and Teddy B are gaining a connection which is a good thing for a Panthers team that appears to be in rebuild mode despite the positive of recent weeks. That being said, I don’t want to talk about Carolina, I want to talk about Atlanta. This team, is bad. Sometimes when a team tells you they are bad, you just have to believe them. Through 4 games, there has been so much potential, and no payoff. They’ve got a shot to beat a Panthers team who isn’t exactly stellar on either side of the ball, but they are far more balanced than what the Falcons have going on. Plus the best player on their roster is inactive this week. Ugh.

Panthers 24 Falcons 20

MIA Dolphins vs SF 49ers

Clearly, Fitz-magic isn’t the answer. With the Bills and Patriots playing as well as they are, it’s also clear that the Dolphins aren’t going to make the playoffs at this current rate. So why not start Tua? News flash: they aren’t. Which leads me to believe they’re going to get more of the same middling results, start 1-4, and make a banged up 49ers team look really good. By the way, this 49ers team has played relatively well for the injury cards they’ve been handed in this poker season. Starting 3-2 without your starting QB for most of those games, is pretty good.

Dolphins 18 49ers 23

NY Giants vs DAL Cowboys

Unlesss you’re a fan of either team, I advise you stay away from this matchup. There’s some drama with Jason Garrett being the OC of the Giants, but both of these teams combine for 1 win. It’s honestly pathetic. There’s also a case to be made that the Cowboys should be 0-4. Don’t get me wrong, I have Dallas winning this game because the Giants are just terrible. My fear though, is that Dallas wins a few of their next games because the schedule is pretty easy for them, and they don’t get rid of the problem which is Mike Nolan as DC. Calling it now, the Cowboys miss the playoffs, because they didn’t have the foresight to fix their defense when it wasn’t too late. Oh was this blurb too much about the Cowboys? Fine then. Let me remind you that Daniel Jones isn’t a good QB, and that without Saquon Barkley, this Giants offense is accomplishing nothing this season. Happy?

Giants 10 Cowboys 24

IND Colts vs CLE Browns

In the alternative universal words of Gordon Ramsey “Finally a good f****** football matchup.” This week is loaded with lopsided matchups (which spells for a lot of upsets that I didn’t predict) and this matchup right here is finally one worth mentioning. Quietly, the Colts have had the NFL’s best offense through four games. Quietly, the Browns have had one of the most efficient offenses this season. So who do you pick in what turns out to be such a juicy matchup? I’m super high on the Browns this season. I have been since they hired Kevin Stefanski. However, I anticipate the Colts defense to be just a little too much for Baker and Co. Being 3-2 isn’t a bad thing for the Browns. They’re far better than what most people thought. But also, how about them Colts at 4-1 after this week? Anyone see that coming? I didn’t.

Colts 20 Browns 17

MIN Vikings vs SEA Seahawks

Putting my Viking predictions woes aside for a second here. I firmly believe that this Seattle team is far superior to this Vikings team. I also believe that Russell Wilson will dominate this Vikings defense. All that being said, this is a make or break game for the Vikings. You start 1-4? You aren’t making the playoffs. It just isn’t happening. Start 2-3 though, and things start to look much better. There’s going to be a lot of fight from this Vikings team, and they’re going to play hard. But just like the last time these two teams met up and played hard, it’s going to result in Cousins playing well, the defense disappointing and, for whatever reason, the media blaming Cousins anyway despite finishing with a 3TD 1 INT statline. Ugh. The Cousins hate has to stop. It’s also not his fault that his counterpart is probably going to throw for 350+ yards and 4 TDs.

Vikings 31 Seahawks 35

LA Chargers vs NO Saints

Only three games in, but I am fully admitting I was wrong about Justin Herbert. Kid looks like a stud slinging the ball out there. Sure, he’s missing some throws and making some classic rookie mistakes, but he’s also the reason the Chargers are remaining and competitive and I LIKE that. Against the Saints, they have a matchup that’s winnable but also not easy. In addition, the big MT is making his return. With a fresh body and fresh legs, I already can envision him running over this Chargers secondary and single-handedly taking over the game. I think the Saints team we were supposed to see all year shows up this week.

Chargers 28 Saints 38

BUF Bills vs TEN Titans

Well. If this game happens, it’s a fun matchup. It’s enticing and both teams are undefeated. I also anticipate the Bills to rock the Titans. Why? Byes are nice. But not having been able to practice with your team is a hard sell for a winning formula. The Bills are a tough team with an MVP-level QB this year. And minimal football practices is going to beat that? Nope. Nu-uh. No thanks. Ain’t taking bait. Bills win it. Unfortunate for the Titans but at this point, you gotta stay healthy. No one really to blame but the circumstance.

Bills 28 Titans 21